I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Boobs speak an international language.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
