there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
