There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
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I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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