I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
