ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
