Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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