I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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