drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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