my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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