shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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