? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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