meet me or not, i'm out of control
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Randomize
