Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
