I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
