I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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