I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
well you can't waste a boner
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My dick has a subreddit
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
