It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
the condom got lost in my hair
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
