i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
