Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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