Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
