Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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