My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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