He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
