He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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