O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
