Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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