we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The uberlube is also flammable
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
