You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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