Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
