he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
