I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
