Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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