love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
