cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i need some magic done to my vagina
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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