Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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