i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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