she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize