He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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