I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
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So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
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He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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