i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
How does one acquire holy water?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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