haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
