so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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