Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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