ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize