After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize