I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
