I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
