I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Randomize
