even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
