oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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