Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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