I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
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I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
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Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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