Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
