Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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