I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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