just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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