btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
