How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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