just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
